mother: you need to stop playing the sims.
me: ah fweegah fwaa boobasnot cayoo dis wompf es fredesche
kaynanarie: One time my super religious aunt came to visit and gave me a blessed cross since I’m an atheist and she thinks she can convert me. I picked it up and immediately dropped it screaming “IT BURNS! IT BURNS US!” She was super pissed off at me and my dad came in to see what the commotion was, picked up the cross and did THE EXACT SAME THING! My aunt doesn’t visit anymore.
acquaint: if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
fuckyeahtxtposts: i’ve never skydived before but i’ve zoomed in on google maps really fast once
cartoonology: do you ever wonder what household object you would be turned into in a Beauty and the Beast type situation because I do